Pedantic Pat. Beauty Care

One of my absolute favourite songs at the moment is Irish group Bell X1's The Great Defector, which you can have a listen to coutesy of the YouTube vidjo at the head of this post. I love hearing it in the mornings because it always makes me smile and it features some really great lyrics, best of which I think is the line "You're the chocolate at the end of my Cornetto".

Best. Compliment. Ever.

Unfortunately, because I like to really listen to lyrics (and then madden Himself by knowing the words to every song that comes on the radio, with the exception of one or two Scissor Sister numbers which will be the death of me), I can't just let go and really enjoy the choon fully. And that's because the next line of the song is "I love the way your underwired bra / Always sets off that x-ray machine".

Now, I'm a girl. I wear bras. Most of the bras I wear, be they sexy or comfy or covered in lace or polka dots, have underwire. I'm pretty sure that I've never encountered an x-ray machine while wearing my underwired over the shoulder boulder holder. Ah no wait, I have - in the dentist and the orthodontist. But it didn't beep, emit a warning tone, explode, or give any indication that it was being set off.

Strange soda.

The next few lines run:
"Comin’ into land and
Now I love the colour of it all
Blue lights on the runway
I love the colour of it all"

Very airport-y. And airports do have x-ray machines, sure enough. But then you wouldn't be breezing through one of those on your way to Lanzarote with your underwired bra on.

Eh, is it metal detectors you're thinking of, lads..?

Sadly, I messed up possibly the only chance I'll ever have to quiz Bell X1 about this. They were on The Tubridy Show on Radio a hAon this morning for a chat and to perform The Great Defector, so nearly spluttering with excitement I whipped out the mobile and texted in. "Ryan", sez I, "can you ask the lads about some of those lyrics - how would an underwired bra set off an x-ray machine..?" Like an absolute fool, I neglected to mention my metal detector hypothesis in my hurry to get the message off, so when the question was put to the band one of them knowingly replied "Oh, I've seen it happen many a time."

GAH!

Well now I'll just have to go see them on their upcoming tour, try and get backstage, and force them to explain themselves, won't I.

Tomorrow: people who dont' know how to punctuate or spel...