WTH!? Them ain`t Ernando`s hands

Guess who`s back...back again...Beaker`s back...tell your friends...
ooooooooK now that I`ve successfully given y`all a slim shady earworm, 
lets get down to business. What has brought me out of retirement to 
holler at all my girls? Shellac. Holy Balls people.

I resisted this ish for so damn long. I kept tellin myself people 
were nuts, it couldn`t be ALL that awesome. You won`t hear me say 
this often, so adjust your monitors so you can read this well: I was 
effing wrong! Hell, you may wanna even take a screencap of that ish 
right there. It happens like, I don`t know, once a decade.

Anyway back to the good stuff. Shellac. Now y`all, I`m gonna tell 
you, I do NOT "use as directed". Pssssh, eff that. Let me tell you 
why I love this stuff: 

 1. Bye Bye Staining.
Most the time, when I`m using Shellac, I do the Shellac base 
and top coats, and then paint whatever the hell I want over it. Cause 
let`s be honest. Most of the Shellac colors are JANK. Admit it. You 
know that`s what has kept you from Shellac-ing so far, isn`t it? Well 
base/top then whatever nail polish I want over it has solved the 
problem I had with the jacked boring colors. And it had a surprise 
benefit. My staining is le gonzo. Not Kellie Gonzo, no I mean 
arrivederci. Vamoose. Au revoir. Dont let the door hit ya... ok, ya 
got the point... 

 2. Bye Bye VNL.
The boring beige Shellac color = perfect underwear for polish 
you can`t get rid of VNL with, no matter how many coats you do. OH 
yeah Glitter in the Air, I`m lookin at YOU. 

 3. Ridiculously long wear
I REALLY break the "use as directed" rules here, and let me be 
CLEAR: THIS IS NOT ADVISED BY CND! If you follow my lead, and catch 
your fingernails on fire or something, you can`t sue CND or me because 
I just told you crazy girls its not allowed by CND. So, what do I do?
If you`re like me you have a boatload of HTFs you find yourself 
reluctant to wear because you spent a stupid amount of money on them 
and they chip within a day (yes, I`m looking at you Id). Well, I 
decided one day that risking catching my fingers on fire was worth it 
if the experiment actually worked. What kind of Beaker would I be if 
I wasn`t willing to risk catching myself on fire? I did my usual 
Shellac base/color/top, cleaned off the sticky layer, and painted on 
my pretty htf (230, actually, over Shellac Fedora. Ballllller combo 
btw) I let 230 DRY COMPLETELY, then....I put Shellac topcoat back 
over 230, cured it, removed the sticky layer...and that bad bish 
lasted through tubing down a river, camping, cleaning without gloves 
AND rearranging furniture. I finally got so sick of it I ended up 
taking it off. Because I had another idea...

 4. If that worked...what about...
Yep, you guessed it, my next experiment was Shellac base/top + 
regular nail polish + shellac top.
This had dicey results. Sometimes, its KILLER. Lasts forever 
just like Shellac. Other times, it peels in a couple days. It 
doesn`t seem to agree with frankens or serious holo (Gosh Holo chipped 
in a day, after a TON of trial and error to get the shellac to not 
dull the holo). However, I wore Zulu for 4 days with no problems, 
before I got sick of it and had to change.

 5. This stuff stands up to water!
I Shellac`d my toes last weekend before going on the river, and 
not a single chip or peel, after 10 hours in the water. Tubing. 
Fishing. River Rodeo. I did manage to scratch the shiny layer on one 
toe because I went foot first into a massive rock. Another plus, I 
had a massive toe injury about a month ago, and had a toenail ripped 
off. I`ve just been Shellac`ing where the toenail would be normally. 
You can`t even tell I`m missing a nail AND it stayed intact through 
river day. That is pretty much the equivalent of a nail miracle. 

 Now, I know you`re all thinking Shellac is EXPENSIVE to have done, 
and only available to Pros or on ebay for stupid prices. Well, as 
long as you have a local Sally Beauty, fear not. Because Sally now 
has Gelish. And, Gelish has wicked better colors than Shellac.

So, short recap: Shellac rocks. Its better than cupcakes. Maybe. 
Unless its a bacon cupcake. Then nothing is gonna top that bish. 
Shellac has crap colors, but Gelish even has killer hex glitters. 
Don`t use like I do, but I know you`ll do it anyway so if you catch 
your fingers on fire or something crazy CND, myself, and Ernie`s blog 
are not accountable for your crazy experiments. Lastly, click this 
text to see how much Beaker loves you...

[Note: Thank you to my wonderfully, beautiful test tube sister for this post and if any of you even think about calling me Ernando, I will bring a wrath down upon you that will make your great grandbabies cry. She is the ONLY ONE who can call me that other than C-note.]